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Understanding Factors Behind Emotional Affairs in Married Women

This blog focuses on married relationships having emotional affairs.

Married women may engage in emotional affairs for various reasons, even within conservative religious circles. It's essential to recognize that individual motivations can be complex and diverse.


Everyone wants to feel seen and heard. But if a person feels overlooked and under-appreciated, they may seek validation and care from another person. In an emotional affair, the unappreciated person searches for feelings of worth, as well as confirmation of how important they are.


Some emotional affairs even last for a lifetime. The period in which a couple feels “in love” during an affair normally lasts six-18 months, but sometimes spans as long as three years. All types of affairs can be very personal for everyone involved. They usually bring with them many kinds of emotions — both the good and the bad.


Here are some potential factors that lead to married women having emotional affairs:


1. Unmet Emotional Needs:

- Women, like anyone else, may seek emotional connection and support. If they feel unfulfilled in their marriage emotionally, they might seek it elsewhere.

2. Communication Issues:

- Challenges in communication within a marriage can lead to emotional distance. A woman might turn to someone else who appears more attentive and understanding.

3. Feeling Unappreciated:

- If a woman feels undervalued or unappreciated in her marriage, she may seek affirmation and recognition from someone outside the relationship.

4. Personal Fulfillment:

- Some women might engage in emotional affairs as a way to find personal fulfillment or excitement that they feel is lacking in their marriage.

5. Escaping Stress or Unhappiness:

- Stress or dissatisfaction in the marital relationship can drive individuals to seek solace elsewhere. Emotional affairs may serve as an escape from marital challenges.

6. Lack of Boundaries:

- In some cases, individuals may not have clear emotional boundaries or may not realize that their close friendship with someone else is evolving into an emotional affair.

7. Internet and Social Media:

- The accessibility of social media and online platforms can facilitate emotional connections outside the marriage. Innocent online interactions may evolve into emotional affairs.

8. Changes in Life Circumstances:

- Significant life changes, such as becoming parents or facing career shifts, can strain a marriage. In response, some women might seek emotional support from someone who seems understanding.

9. Seeking Validation:

- A woman may engage in an emotional affair to seek validation and a sense of desirability, especially if she perceives a lack of attention or admiration in her marital relationship.



It's crucial to approach these situations with empathy and understanding, recognizing that each person's experience is unique. If a woman is navigating challenges within her marriage, open communication and seeking professional guidance can be essential steps toward resolution. Addressing the root causes of emotional affairs may involve introspection, couples therapy, and working towards healthier communication within the marriage.


Dr Purity Carr

GP & Menopause Doctor

Harvey, Western Australia

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