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Deceptive Discourse: 12 Instances Where a Narcissist's Words Conceal Their True Intentions

Unveiling Deceptive Discourse: Navigating the Verbal Labyrinth of Narcissists

Delving into the intricacies of interactions with narcissists reveals a complex linguistic landscape, where words often conceal more than they reveal. In this exploration, we dissect 12 instances of deceptive discourse employed by narcissists, from seemingly genuine compliments to promises of change. Understanding these verbal maneuvers becomes paramount in deciphering the authentic intentions behind their words, offering a guide to navigate the subtle complexities of relationships with individuals driven by narcissistic tendencies.

1. Complimenting Others: A narcissist might compliment someone, but it could be a form of manipulation or an attempt to gain favor rather than genuine praise.

2. Apologizing: When a narcissist says sorry, it might be a way to manipulate or control a situation rather than expressing genuine remorse or taking responsibility for their actions.

3. Expressing Concern: If a narcissist appears concerned about someone, it could be a tactic to gather information, gain trust, or manipulate the person emotionally.

4. Offering Help: A narcissist may offer assistance, but their motivation might be to appear helpful or gain something in return, rather than genuinely caring about the other person's well-being.

5. Acting Humble: When a narcissist downplays their achievements or acts humble, it might be a strategic move to receive more admiration or sympathy from others.

6. Expressing Love: Narcissists may say "I love you," but it might be more about fulfilling their needs or maintaining control in the relationship rather than genuine affection.

7. Promising Change: If a narcissist promises to change their behavior, it could be a tactic to keep someone in their life or control a situation, without any sincere intention of making lasting changes.

8. Sharing Secrets: When a narcissist shares personal information or secrets, it could be a way to create a false sense of intimacy, manipulate emotions, or gain leverage later on.

9. Seeking Validation: A narcissist might seek validation or approval, not because they genuinely value others' opinions, but as a means to feed their constant need for admiration and reassurance.

10. Acting Generous: Generosity from a narcissist may come with strings attached, serving as a tool for future manipulation or to create a positive image rather than a true selfless act.

11. Expressing Vulnerability: When a narcissist opens up about their vulnerabilities, it might be a calculated move to evoke sympathy and gain an upper hand in the relationship.

12. Claiming Victimhood: Narcissists may play the victim to elicit pity, deflect blame, or manipulate others into providing unwarranted support, masking their true role in conflicts.


In the complex web of interactions with a narcissist, their words often serve as a veiled means of manipulation. From seemingly genuine compliments masking ulterior motives to apologies devoid of true remorse, the deceptive discourse of a narcissist reveals itself in various scenarios. Acts of kindness may be laden with hidden agendas, expressions of love could be tools for control, and promises of change might be mere tactics to maintain influence. Whether through feigned concern, strategic humility, or the exploitation of vulnerability, the narcissist's words become instruments of manipulation, casting shadows over the authenticity of their intentions. Recognizing these patterns is crucial in navigating relationships where deceptive discourse prevails.

Dr Purity Carr

GP & Menopause Specialists

Harvey WA

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