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Menopause Humour

Updated: Jun 14

Here’s a Collection of Menopause Humour

1. You know you're going into menopause when your favorite exercise is running... to the nearest fan! Who needs a treadmill when you're getting all the cardio you need just from those hot flashes?

2. I always thought the hardest part of working out was lifting weights. Then menopause hit, and now the real challenge is lifting myself off the couch during a hot flash!

3. You know you're in menopause when your yoga routine includes fanning yourself with the mat and taking breaks to stand in front of the open freezer. Who needs hot yoga when you’ve got hot flashes?

4. Ever tried running a marathon? Try running through menopause! It’s like a marathon, but with more sweat and fewer medals!

5. They say exercise gives you endorphins. Menopause gives you hot flashes. Put them together, and you’re basically a sweaty, happy mess!

6. I used to think spin class was intense. Then I experienced a hot flash while spinning. It’s like a workout and a sauna session all in one!

7. Menopause is like running a marathon. You need stamina, plenty of hydration, and cheering from the sidelines – usually in the form of your friends with fans!

8. Why did the menopausal woman bring a towel to her workout? Because sometimes, you just need something to throw in when the hot flashes hit!

Menopause and Mood Swings Humor

1. Menopause has me feeling like I could kill someone... then forget why I was angry in the first place. It’s like nature’s way of keeping things interesting!

2. During menopause, my mood swings are so intense that even my thermostat is afraid of me. One minute I’m freezing, the next I’m ready to burn the house down!

3. Menopause: when your family learns to tiptoe around you because they know you could go from zero to ‘I could kill someone’ in seconds. It's like living with a ticking time bomb!

4. They say menopause brings mood swings. I say it brings mood marathons. One minute I’m laughing, the next minute I’m plotting world domination... or at least how to hide a body!

5. Menopause has taught me one thing: I could definitely get away with murder. Blame it on the hot flashes and mood swings – no jury would convict me!

6. You know you're in menopause when you go from 'I love everyone' to 'I could kill someone' in 2.5 seconds. It’s like having an emotional rollercoaster in your living room!

7. My family asked if I’m okay. I told them, ‘I’m in menopause, which means I’m always two seconds away from a meltdown... or a murder mystery!’

8. Menopause is when you start to understand why hurricanes are named after people. One moment you’re calm, and the next you’re ready to wreak havoc!

9. Menopause has me feeling like I’m auditioning for a crime show. One minute I’m the detective, and the next I’m the suspect – mood swings keep everyone guessing!

10. They say menopause makes you hot and bothered. They forgot to mention it also makes you a prime suspect in a potential crime drama!

11. "There's an alien in head and my body has been taken over" 41 yr old  

Menopause and Joint Pains Humour

1. Menopause and joint pain have turned me into a weather forecaster. I can predict rain better than the news just by how my knees feel!

2. I used to bend over to tie my shoes without a second thought. Now, thanks to menopause and joint pain, it’s a full-blown yoga session!

3. Menopause has given me a new appreciation for elevators. Stairs and my aching joints are no longer on speaking terms.

4. My joints creak so much during menopause that I’m considering hiring myself out as a haunted house sound effect!

5. I thought menopause would bring hot flashes and mood swings. I didn’t realize it also came with a side of ‘crackling knees’ as a bonus!

6. Menopause joint pain has turned my morning stretches into a symphony of snaps, crackles, and pops. Who needs breakfast cereal?

7. They say laughter is the best medicine, but my knees say otherwise. During menopause, they need a prescription just to get up the stairs!

8. Menopause has me feeling like the Tin Man from The Wizard of Oz. All I need is an oil can for my joints and I’m good to go!

9. My joints and menopause are conspiring against me. I now grunt and groan so much getting up from the couch that my family thinks I’m doing voice exercises for a monster movie!

10. I signed up for a menopause support group, but I think we need a joint pain support group too. Our meetings would start with a symphony of creaks and groans!

Menopause and Poor Sleep Humour

1. Menopause has turned my nights into an endless loop of 'will I sleep or will I stay up pondering life's mysteries?' Spoiler alert: it’s usually the latter.

2. I used to count sheep to fall asleep. Now I count how many times I have to get up to adjust the thermostat!

3. Insomnia during menopause means I’m basically becoming nocturnal. Maybe I should start looking for a job as a night watchman!

4. I always thought getting older meant needing less sleep. Turns out, during menopause, it means needing less but craving more!

5. Menopause has me waking up so many times a night, my Fitbit thinks I’m doing a midnight workout.

6. Poor sleep during menopause means I’ve perfected the art of the midday nap. I’m practically a professional napper now!

7. I used to love my bed. Now, thanks to menopause, it’s more of a love-hate relationship – I love it, but it hates to let me sleep!

8. Menopause insomnia is nature's way of preparing you for all the late-night hot flash battles. Bring on the midnight fan brigade!

9. My new favorite bedtime activity during menopause? Flipping the pillow to find the cool side – over and over again.

10. Sleep during menopause is like a game of hide and seek. It hides, I seek, and we rarely ever find each other!

More to come

Feel free to send me more jokes

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