Updated: Oct 22
This is my life.
I was raised under the nurturing care of my incredible mom, an only child in our small world. My dad's presence remained a mystery until my mid-teens, and when we finally met, I clung to the hope of discovering the superhero dad of my dreams.
Yet, reality painted a different picture. He never showed up for us. He had a family and my mom and I were a nuisance from the past. I met him twice and that was enough to strike him off.
My father, a brilliant vet, was assigned by the Kenyan government to a vibrant, mixed farming community nestled on the slopes of majestic Mount Kenya. He became an integral part of that community, and in the process, my beautiful 19-year-old mom became pregnant with me. She was a devout woman, and society unfairly placed the burden of shame on unwed mothers like her. Even her own family, unjustly, labelled her a prostitute, a title she never deserved.
Despite these trials, she made the incredible choice to be my mother, forsaking her career aspirations for a simpler life. She sold carrots in the market, knitted school sweaters, and collected scrap metal and old plastic shoes to sell to recycling agents for almost nothing. She was so committed to raising me that she remained celibate. I'm an only child.
She was determined to carve a better life for her little girl, praying for a daughter and believing it. Before she even met me, she chose the name Purity, convinced I'd have a pure heart. When we finally met, she fell in love with me and promised to clothe me in the finest dresses and shoes she could find. She sent me to boarding school at around age 5, the best path to education back then. At school, no one knew how little we had. I wore lovely boutique dresses, and I had so many pairs of shoes that by the time I entered high school, they called me Imelda.
As I grew, my mom would tell me that one day I'd be a bright star circling the globe. I worked tirelessly in school, promising my mom to be that star each day. I never aspired to greatness beyond providing her with a comfortable home, food, and beautiful dresses and shoes.
My "mummy," as I called her then and still call her now, had just two essential dresses: her church attire and her work outfit. Alongside them, there was her worn-out, patched retired work dress, which became her everyday home attire. To this day, her church clothes, including her shoes, are reserved exclusively for the Sabbath, a testament to her unwavering dedication to her faith and family.
My mummy is my true superhero. Witnessing our struggles in poverty during my early life, I made a promise to myself to ensure she had a comfortable life for the rest of her days. From my very first paycheck to this day, my mom has been a top priority beneficiary of my hard work. Those who have had the privilege of meeting her have experienced her quietly infectious loveliness. I love you, mummy!
My journey towards becoming a powerful, independent woman was far from a smooth path. Doubts about my worth crept in at times, convincing me that others deserved the spotlight more than I did. But it was when I finally embraced my true self and faced my fears and vulnerabilities head-on that I truly began to relish life's richness. This transformation was given a significant boost by the confidence and vitality I gained when I started HRT three years ago.
The Pivotal Moment
This journey led me to a pivotal decision in my life. Under the mentorship of Professor Martin Samy (Samy Medical Group) and in partnership with Samy Medical Group, we chose to share my transformation and newfound wisdom with other women by opening a menopause and well-being clinic. Prof, I want to express my gratitude for choosing me! I had grown weary of the standard practice of merely treating illness. Instead, I was driven to empower women to become the best versions of themselves, firmly believing that in doing so, they could truly live their best lives.
This clinic isn't solely about addressing health concerns; it's about nurturing a holistic approach to well-being, enabling women to thrive and realize their full potential. It stands as a tribute to the strength and resilience inherent in women and as a testament to my unwavering dedication to positively impacting their lives.
Becoming the best version of you
Becoming a powerful, independent woman is a journey of self-discovery and personal growth. Let's embark on the exciting journey through seven essential steps to guide you toward becoming a happy, contented, independent woman.
1. Self-Awareness: Start by understanding yourself, your strengths, and your weaknesses. Self-awareness is the foundation for personal growth. There are phenomenal books and you tube meditation video, self worth and empowerment resources. Tap into them. Forgive yourself readily. Forgive the mistakes of your past. Write a letter to your younger self acknowledging her struggles and the decisions she made. Embrace her for showing up for herself. Celebrate her resilience and forgive and forget her dumb choices. If a voice in your head reminds you of your past failures, tell it you've made peace with that version of you and that's not you now! You live in a different world.
2. Education and Skill Building: Invest in education and skills that empower you, whether it's through formal education, workshops, or self-study. Knowledge is your greatest asset. Knowledge is your super power. Work hard to perfect your craft.
3. Financial Independence: Take control of your finances. Learn about budgeting, investing, and saving. Financial independence provides you with the freedom to make choices that align with your goals. The more clutter you acquire the more time, energy and resources it takes to maintain it. Don't waste your resources on clutter. A new dress, handbag or shoes may make you happy, but it's only for a while. Make financial choices that feed your inner happiness and simplicity. Save money, but remember to save people too. Support charitable courses. Gift your quality old clothes to charities or those around you.
4. Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries in your personal and professional life. Respect your own limits, and don't be afraid to say no when necessary. Let go of toxic people and relationships that no longer serve you. Set a clear vision and a mission statement. Align yourself with projects or jobs that serve your vision and mission.
5. Networking and Mentorship: Build a strong network of like-minded individuals and seek mentors who can guide you in your journey. Support and advice from others can be invaluable. Reach out readily, don't be afraid of sounding stupid. One rejection means one step closer to achieving acceptance and recognition. Don't give up on your dream. Your life journey and story is unique, it's a shame to never enjoy and share it.
6. Confidence and Resilience: Believe in yourself and your abilities. Cultivate and nurture resilience to bounce back from setbacks and challenges. Read books, listen to podcasts by successful women that you admire. Limit watching mindless TV, instead upgrade your brain software with information that helps your brain align with the person you wish to become. Even if you don't feel like it. Fake it till you achieve it! Think and act like the future successful, happy, confident version of your future self. Your confidence in yourself will propel you forward.
7. Empower Others: True empowerment is about lifting others as you climb. Support and inspire other women on their journeys to independence and strength. Turn envy to passion. Applaud the success of those around you. There's enough to go round. Move away from a scarcity mindset and manifest abundance.
Becoming a powerful, independent woman is not about being self-sufficient at all times but having the knowledge and confidence to make the best choices for yourself. Embrace your uniqueness, and remember that your journey is yours alone, so take each step at your own pace and trust the journey and embrace the guidance of a higher power.
By Dr Purity Carr
GP & Menopause Doctor
Dr Purity Carr Menopause Clinic